Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
