I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
