Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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