let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
