You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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