Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
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