I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
