note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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