how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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