question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i will never coherently bang her
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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