You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize