Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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