you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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