I only kidnapped one of them. chill
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
