New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
