On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
