Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
