Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
