..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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