My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
