I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize
