when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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