I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize