I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
