Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
