4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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