Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
