OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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