we're blogging at a bar
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
