Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
