Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize