she looked like the before picture.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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