strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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