Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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