Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
