i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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