I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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