Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
