I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she peed on how many people?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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