I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
