I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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