Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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