new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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