love makes seman taste better
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
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We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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