I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
