dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
