only if we run a train.
done.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
