I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
