Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I touched a dick in church today
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
