what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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