Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
Follow @tfln