I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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