thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
