Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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