Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
