thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
